Embarrassment at the Auto Parts Store

Part of living in the country is having the ability to fix and maintain your mechanical equipment. It's a great way to save money and time, so I've been learning how to do my own upkeep on the family car. I've done two other vehicles with help from family and successfully changed the oil on both. Then came the day I needed to change the oil in our new car, with no help. It seemed easy enough. All I had to do was locate the oil pan, slap my crescent wrench on the nut and let the bad oil flow into the catch. I slide under the car after jacking it up and stare at what can only be described as, "things". My car could have the ability to fly and I wouldn't know. I find what I think is the oil pan and loosen the bolt. Out streams red liquid. "No, no, no!" I yell as car-blood leaks from what could be its heart. With the bolt back in place I hope it still runs. The search for the oil pan continues. "Maybe that's it..." I tentatively rest my wrench on a new bolt. "But maybe it's not..." Having lost courage and confidence, my wife and I head out to the auto parts store to return the oil kit since we resolved to simply have the car done by professionals. With a low spirit I wait in line with Erin.

I tried to think up a less embarrassing reason for returning the oil kit. Maybe I injured myself while changing the oil. Nah, then I would be an idiot for an entirely different reason. Oh, I know! I'll say that the warranty only allows certified technicians to change the oil, and that's why I'm returning the oil kit. Brilliant!

"Hey, what are you doing back?" The guy behind the counter shouts over everyone in line. I was ready to lay my alibi on him when, out of nowhere, Erin suddenly shouts back to the guy,
"He can't find the oil pan so we're returning the kit!"

I freeze; the weight of an invisible dunce cap resting on my head. Did she just tell the whole store that I lack the brain power to find a stinking oil pan?

Three men turn around to appraise my stupidity. I'm speechless.

The auto parts guy asks if the car is in the parking lot. I nod dumbly. He takes me out there, gets under my car and shows me where the oil pan is and which bolt to loosen. After thanking him, I drive home in shame.

It was all for the best though as I've changed the oil on that car three times since without any issues.

I'd like to thank my wife for her sweet innocence. Had you left my ego intact, it would have been slowly chipped away each time we visited Jiffy Lube.